My wife loves the style of the game, the amazing dialogue and characters, but when she sees how difficult it is any intent of playing is gone. I'd think she isn't the only one.

So I propose the EZ button. It's a queue for starting players with full rewards until level 10 or so. Anyone above can join them and mentor as normal. After level 10, you can still queue in EZ mode but for reduced rewards.
I'd suggest a new campaign that functions similarly to a tutorial for new players that is unlocked from the get-go, to give them more maps to queue into...if not a server browser or allowing queues without full teams.

Fucking for real?! I always just thought players were being dicks not wanting to progress in the mission. Now I know. Lol and besides bounty hunter mods what's a good way to get gold? Does shooting enemies net me more gold? If anything I seem to be flying through xp ranks because of the card xp boost. Are there card gold boosts? I feel like there should be.

I can't see what this is referring to, but I'm curious too. So killing more enemies earns more gold and XP?
But there is a bonus for fewer deaths and quicker time too, within reason. Also finishing raids quicker means getting into new raids faster for potentially more rewards. Especially if you're doing dailies.

Another thing I'd put out there: There are lots of ways you can prevent bosses from doing attacks
For instance when fight Kuzman in upsidown I think it is? Where he has the giant mech, I'd seen the mech get stunned but never knew how until I started shooting it myself. I was under the impression the mech was invincible while Kuzman's head was knocked off, but that wasn't the case and you can, SHOULD, continue to shoot the mech once the head is placed for the hack to keep stunning it, to keep the hack going.

Between that and having to swap terminals, you could theoretically finish in a hack or two if you're on point, rather than having to constantly beat the mech down to get the head to hack for a few seconds before the mech gets it back.
And that's just one example. Marmalade can be shot in the eye to stop his vomit and his hands that set the ground on fire have a pustule pop out you can shoot to stop that too, but that one is at least obviously marked.

Maybe it's because the game didn't have to be balanced around PVP, but that doesn't account for the nuance in the abilities that makes them a button press away, but far from one dimensional.

I love the abilities! Never seen a game that really reaches out with such a wide array of interesting mechanics! Even warframe falls a little short, as if you consider any one character in Spacelords having 4 abilities, it'd be absolutely nuts.

They all have their own distinct look but gameplay wise they're only slightly different, with the same unit types. I think that by throwing in a few new types and tweaking their behavior, you could end up with radically different playstyles with each faction.

* Wardog Kamikaze-
A mishapen miniscule murderer, these deformed mutants with swollen sacks of aleph scrabble across the ground quickly with hooks having surgically replaced their arms and legs, which they use to cling to a raider and explode.
While technically no faster than most units, the fact they are small and always moving makes them seem far more dangerous, along with a grapple type attack if they get in range, but no guns or quick attacks.

* Wardog burner-
A hulking monstrosity of what was once a man with a ramshackle weapon that spews firey aleph out both ends and generally makes a mess everywhere. Their every moment should be pain but they really seem to be enjoying themselves. Unless meleed, they explode on death.
Re-using Gen. Marmelade's fire effect, this wardog adds more chaos to the battlefield, denying area and herding raiders, distracting them from other threats. They move slower than most.

* Wardog Hog-
Some of the most feared and revered among the wardogs, they ride custom choppers and attack in hit and run tactics that leave enemies reeling.
More of a map hazard of a sort than an enemy, they ride through the "pathways" that exist on the map rather than directly attacking a player, trampling and swinging at anyone they get near. They can't be grabbed, but can be shot off.

The net result from adding these enemies would drastically change the wardogs, making them utterly chaotic to fight where you must keep your wits about you and never know where the next threat might be coming from.